Stuck and Unhappy With Your Diet and Exercise?
Stuck and Unhappy With Your Diet and Exercise?
Hey it's Josh here from The Unit Fitness and today I'm going to go deep! This is something that's actually quite uncomfortable for me to do as usually I feel quite confident in front of the camera and speaking.
For those people who know me, I like to put on a big front, a show, and it is sometimes a show, and it has been in the past. There were times, and you may have been there before, where we have struggles, you feel low. Times where you question things. And I've probably had that at too early a stage in life to be honest.
For those people who have known me for a long, long time, you'd probably find it quite hard to think that, because I had everything around me. I had ... not being funny, I had a great upbringing.
I had love, and support no matter what I wanted to do, and the sky was the limit kind of thing. And I started working doing what I did because ... it started off as coaching football because that was the only thing I felt like I could do.
I had a lot of people around me who were much more intelligent, and could do much better things. But for me, I was probably happiest just joking around, trying to help people in any way, shape, or form I could. And I loved running around in a pair of shorts, that's the be all and end all.
But as you know, that doesn't really get you to where you think you should be. And although I had really good things around me, that sometimes put pressure on me that you can't even imagine. Pressure to, amount up to something, to financially be wealthy. And that was happiness, I believed that that was happiness. But it wasn't.
So, I stopped doing a job that I loved, and I was fortunate to do that job. But yet I still lay there honestly hours of a night, even though I'd just been doing a job that most people would cut their right arm off for. It would be hard, it would be stressful.
And I'd genuinely wonder if I'd amount to being anything, because I knew I couldn't just keep working off in different states, coaching football and stuff. Although I loved it. But I was almost like am I just being a kid, and I've got to get real?
I think it's hard because when you feel like you can't actually do anything, and you can't do what you love doing because you're putting the pressure on yourself that financially it's not going to be good enough, you stop doing what you love. And I went into a job that I genuinely used to dread. Midway through a Sunday, I would dread going to do the job I did. And I wasn't enjoying life, but I didn't want to make a change.
Just making a change was tougher, it was much tougher, because I was earning money. I was doing what I felt was going to make me happy, but it wasn't.
So, I stayed being unhappy nearly a year. Now, that doesn't sound like a long time to people, but the stress and the pressure I put myself under all that time building up to this was crazy. And then a year of being genuinely unhappy to the point where I just ... where do I go?
I'm genuinely going to be nothing. I'm going to be working a dead end job because it financially would support me.
I mean, it got a point that I just didn't know what to do, and I had to make a change. I knew I had to make a change, because I couldn't literally get up on a Monday, be low as anything till Friday night, live for the Friday as everyone does, and then Sunday comes around and I'm miserable again.
So, I did, I took a chance, I took a risk, but I was scared of failing. I was scared of people looking at me and going, "What are you doing? You're going backwards in life, you're going back to coaching football.
All right, you've had your fun, but you need to start getting serious." And people were telling me that. People around me were saying, "You need to get serious, you need to grow up."
Basically telling me don't follow your dream, don't follow your passion, because you're never going to make it anywhere with that. You're never going to achieve anything in life doing that. And they were some pretty close people to me, so it was hard to do anything.
They were like, "You're running away." I didn't see it as running away, I saw it as a chance, an opportunity to take. And I was so glad I took it. And I learnt more than anything I'd learnt in the last 23 years it felt like on that trip.
I had people who were supposedly close to me take literally thousands of pounds away from me out of my pocket, literally stealing from me. You learn those things, that people value money rather than friendship. That's crazy.
I learnt that actually being healthy and running about in the sun was what made me happy. Being around positive people made a world of difference on a daily basis, rather than being around people who didn't want to be where they were.
That actually supporting people and changing people's lives, even if it is coaching football, making someone a little bit fitter and healthier at that level was what made me happier, so it changed my life. It was always for selfish reasons I was doing what I was doing.
And yeah, I hadn't really earned a lot of money, and yeah, I was doing what I was doing however many years ago. So yeah, I hadn't really gone forwards. But then it gave me that change, that mindset to go and do something more, and actually believe that doing what I was doing was the right thing to be doing, which was crazy. And I come back and I jumped into a career that I always said I'd never do.
I never wanted to be a personal trainer. I didn't want to be the person who works Friday night's, Saturday morning's, I wanted to have a social life.
I didn't want to be bitter Sunday's and waking up and doing whatever I felt like you had to do as a personal trainer, which was basically cleaning swimming pool showers and saunas, or whatever I thought the job was.
But what I did know is I wanted to help people. I wanted to be there, try and push people to change their lives, to make almost different decisions. So to get them out of their comfort zones, like I had to.
To change the path they were on to be where they want to truly be. But be that support to be that person, because without support you can't really do these things. But I know that when you make that change, you can be a happier person. And I know I was a happier person just from trying to make other people happier.
Is it the highest paid job in the world? No, we know that.
Is it one of the most unsociable jobs in terms of with your family life, does it affect your home life? All that sort of stuff - yes, it does, it takes its toll.
Is it tiring? Yeah, sometimes it is hard to get up at 5 O'Clock, whatever it is in the morning.
But was I now making a difference to other people? Yes.
And did I mind getting up at 5 O'Clock? No.
So, I guess now when I'm happy and I'm in front of people, and I'm full of energy and full of joy, it's because I love it and I respect it, and I respect what I've had in the past. And where I've been. And it's only when you get to the other side that you can actually really appreciate things. And you honestly can't imagine how happy I am to get up, put on my bright pink top, my shorts, run about. Try and make someone laugh every day.
Try and be a good part of people's day. And that's what it's about for people. But it's the fear of failing that held me back all those years. Fear of never being anything.
And you know what? Maybe I won't be anything in terms of financially. But I feel like I'm now something to somebody else, to other people. And that I've got a huge family around me.
The TUF family that we've created. People come in, and for years now we've been a part of their day. That's such an incredible feeling. You know, sometimes people don't even see me, which is the crazy think. And I don't know them, but I know that from something ... making that decision all that time ago has now sometimes created people ... there's people working with other people that come in and love being a part of the unit.
And I can see that that makes them happy. And then they're changing their lives. And they've transformed their health, their positivity, their confidence, and all those things, which is kind of what happened to me.
And you know what? You wouldn't ever think it, and you wouldn't think people would be alone.
But you don't know where people have come from, and you don't know the struggles and the barriers people have to overcome. And that's the big thing is that within I guess the community that we're in now, is that people do come in, and do feel low, and do feel horrendous about themselves. And that to take that step is the biggest thing ever.
But they kind of know now that they're going to get that support, and that they're going to be able to change their lives, and then they're going to feel better. And they can feel other people doing so.
That's what it's always been about. It's trying to change ... do you know what?
Sometimes, yeah, it gets uncomfortable, and it gets hard, and we have to keep moving forwards, even when it is a real struggle. But when you've got a team of people behind you.
Friends, support from people you've only just met two weeks ago pushing you, keeping you going, that's when you can keep doing things and you can achieve huge things.
So I guess sometimes you have to get a little bit uncomfortable. And I guess, like this has been, you've got to put yourself in a situation where you might feel vulnerable, embarrassing. But it's definitely going to be worth it.
Josh Phelps - The Unit Fitness Gyms
Personal Trainer & Gym Owner (Huntingdon, Godmanchester, Alconbury Weald)